You don't know what you do for a living. Literally. Five days a week, you get up, get in your car, black out, and then you're back in the driveway in the afternoon. And a paycheck arrives every 2 weeks.
You found a stray kitten one day, taking her in and feeding her. A week later, you come home to find your yard swarming with cats. The largest among them steps forward and says, "You have my daughter, human. What are your demands for her release?"
In an effort to identify different species, you create a device that can scan an animal and tell you its DNA. You decide to test it on your cat. Delighted it even works, you look at the screen. "0% Cat"